The search for the tomb

Greeting Sphinges and welcome back. For about a month now, you, my fellow ancient monuments, have been doing fantastic things around campus. What? You ask. Where? You implore. Wait no more. The great citer will tell you a story about the doings and beings of you fine specimens.

To begin with, a true has-been. That is right, our own Alexis Ruby Howe of Sphinx '07 showed us what it truly meant to 'party on the green.' Though graduated, Ms. Ruby Howe began the Century Campaign with a bang!

Mad snaps then take us to the Sphinge 08's themselves. The Sphinx came out in full force to sing the Red and the Blue and to cheer on our own Pres. Puneet and he M.C.-ed the event. Not only did he charm the crowd, he also danced like a maniac with Dhamaka. After hours of entertaining the one and only Puneet rallied the troops (aka the Sphinge) and as we belted to our classmates from hall and campus through, we realized what a fantastic idea it was to take Samir Sheth and Ashley Thomas, our resident singers.

Both of whom, coincidentally rocked out in recent weeks with their own a cappella performances with first Atma and then Masala. As Atma wowed the crowd with it's sweet sounds, we wondered if it could all be as simple as Ashley promised it to be as she sang — or better belted — Lauryn Hill's Ex-factor with a style and sound that truly made us believe. To follow up with similar style, Masala, or the 'Backstreet Boys' of Indian a cappella to a sold out crowds. If you are curious as to where you can get more of Masala, just keep an eye out for Best of College A Cappella (BOCA). Not to be just confused with just mouths, our own Samir will be featured on this 'best of' album with their original composition "Pehchaan."

As Ashley told us how to 'care for me, care for me,' it was Shirley Liang who showed what she truly cared for... her rack. Yes, kids, the SAC former exec cares about racks. The Alpha Kappa Delta Phi Sorority raised money for Breast Cancer Awareness. With a ridiculous showing from Sphinges it is indicative about what we really care about a) Shirley b) Breast Cancer awareness and c) Shirley's rack. Not sacks, kids, just racks.

From there we hopscotch back to sacks... of money. That's right. The Sphinx never ab(08) for it is always gr(08) to don(08). We are at a cool 100 percent giving r(08) for the senior class gift drive. Our own Jessica Trief, one who never h(08)s, is taking over for Healy in representin' Sphinx where Red and Blue make green (ca$h).

But to really know where Red and Blue do not make purple, you would have to check with Chief Abroms who is handing out blue bins to make Penn a bit more green. Abroms working hand-in-hand with the Penn Environmental Group has launched a huge campaign to bring recycling off-campus. Sunday, November 11 is the big day with an offensive being launched at 12 noon to distribute bins to most off campus residents. Sphinx, come out and show your support!


Lastly, the citer would like to commend Shawn Safvi, as promised with his submission to the Sphinx calender, the DP has published every week day for the past month. Congrats. 34th Street Editor, Jasmine Fournier was unavailable for comment to explain why her magazine only comes out once a week. Further investigation to follow.


One last edition to this blogging submission. Count the Sphinx in the SAS campaign publication. Bonus points if you find Waldo too.

As always, send in your citings to iseesphingeees@gmail.com. Photos and moving videos as well. Until next time, remember that S is for the S in Sphinx and Y is because we love you. S-P-H-I-N-X. See you real soon!

The Spotter is back, and we are not talking polka dots

Well hello, Sphinges, it is a new year (sort of, a new semester and a New Year by the Jewish calendar) and the citer is back and stalking. The first bit of news is a big welcome to our newest members (welcome to the world of ancient monuments — we are glad to have to here with us):

Kwabena Asiedu
Nana Baffoe-Bonnie
Colleen Donovan
Brittany Middlebrooks
Nick Roosevelt
Ashley Thomas
Jessica Trief

The second biggest news has to do with the biggest thing on campus from Asia with a fantastic showing from the Sphinge crowd, this charity FUNd raiser was a success… Still in the works, the biggest man on campus. Sphinx participation will be meant with equal enthusiasm.

This success was followed up in a big way by the one and only SPEC to bring Whoopi to campus with a crowd that could not be kwelled, Ben Kwell-ered, would be a better explanation of connaissance business (connaissance, connaissance, connaissance) over the weekend as SPEC brought both Whoopi Goldberg and Ben Kweller to Campus with Ingrid Michaelson.

Upcoming BIG things (it seems to be a trend that we attribute to our ancestors, we build big):

Monday, October 8: Mad4 Happy hour
4-When the idea of work drives you back into the depths of Van Pelt
Get to know your fellow Sphinges with the benefit of margaritas.

Tuesday, October 9: Gear day
You wear your colors like it is your job aka get on your black and gold, peeps.

Wednesday, October 10: PILATES FOR PINK
7 - 8:30pm
Pottruck Fitness Center (meet in main lobby by the info desk)
$10 suggested donation
Generous raffle prizes provided by Douglas Cosmetics

Thursday, October 11: National Coming Out Day
the Queer Student Alliance, in conjunction with Lambda Alliance and its constituents, will be celebrating National Coming Out Day. Sponsored by the Human Rights Campaign, National Coming Out Day aims to increase awareness of LGBT related issues.
-We encourage everyone to wear pink on Thursday to show support for the LGBT community

Thursday, October 18: BREAST CANCER AWARENESS COFFEEHOUSE
Come show your support for the cause with a night of unlimited coffee, snacks and great entertainment! All proceeds benefit the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation.
7 - 9pm
Phi Kappa Sigma / Skulls house (36th & Locust)
$5 suggested donation
Performances by: Penn Masala, Off the Beat, Pan-Asian Dance Troupe, Pennchants, Excelano Project, and more
Generous raffle prizes provided by White Dog Cafe, Douglas Cosmetics, Bubble House, Penn Book Center, Saturn Club, Black Cat, and more

Now, send in your spottings to iseesphingeees@gmail.com and we will be rolling out more citings before you can even say celibate monk.

Sphinx News - May 3, 2007

Well, it's official. Our very own tight end will be moving up to good ol' Montreal to play for the Alouettes. Brett Thalmann has already blogged about it at Progresive Dispatches.

Via Progressive Dispatches, you can listen to an interview Mizell gave to KYW's Matt Leon here,

Chris Mizell was a unanimous first team All-Ivy selection as a senior and he is set to head to Canada as he will sign with the Montreal Alouettes of the CFL.

In other great news, David Fraga was selected to sing the National Anthem at Penn's 251st Commencement. Maybe we'll see Fraga do a duet with Arethra Franklin. Who knows, it could happen! In today's Philadelphia Inquirer, Brett Thalmann discussed the selection process for this year's commencement speaker, James Baker.

Thalmann, a political science and business management major graduating in 2008, said the faculty and student input is valued and taken very seriously.

"Students emphasized trying to get a speaker that was internationally known for their public service. Last year, we had Jodie Foster and there were some concerns among students around that time that it wasn't the best choice. Jodie turned out to be a really great speaker and very engaging," said Thalmann.

In more awards news, Tammy Brockow will recieve the Student Award of Merit and the BBB program's Edward N. Pugh, Jr. Award, "awarded to a graduating senior for academic excellence". Way to go Tammy!

~SN

Breaking Sphinx News: Senior Honor Awards

You heard it here first!

Congratulations to the 5 Sphinges who won Senior Honor Awards!!

Althea K. Hottel Award: Catey Mark
Gaylord P. Harnwell Award: Kate Liberman
David R. Goddard Award: Caroline Gammill
R. Jean Brownlee Award: Alexis Ruby Howe

Spoon Award: Andrew Kaplan
Bowl Award: Zach Coopersmith
Cane Award: Stefon Burns
Spade Award: Ezra Billinkoff

~Sphinx Newsie

Sphinx News: April 25, 2007

Another day, another 4 front page stories in the Daily Pennsylvanian.

Guards lead charge for more sick days

Following complaints from guards about not receiving paid leave for illnesses, the University has decided to fund a program for AlliedBarton to provide guards working on campus with sick days.

"If the University can create this policy, they can do better," said Shakirah Simley, co-president of SLAP. "Penn has a lot of power and a lot of influence."

Safer Hey Day Secures Tradition

Vice Provost for University Life Valarie Swain-Cade McCoullum credited the "diligent work of the classes of 2008 and 2007" for this year's turnaround.

She also commended the junior and senior class presidents - Wharton junior Puneet Singh and Wharton senior Andrew Kaplan, respectively - for being "scrupulously thoughtful about their planning" in fostering cooperation between classes.

In the end, Kaplan and Singh said they felt their efforts paid off.

"Our class and the community and the University were able to change the most historic tradition for the better," Singh said.

Borat Impersonator seeks a 'face' for UA

After being elected last week as the next Undergraduate Assembly chairman, College junior Jason Karsh sat down with The Daily Pennsylvanian to discuss life at the UA, goals for the year and girls with the new big man on campus.

Sarah Waxman makes Women's First-Team All Penn

• Ivy League-best 6.03 goals against average
• Helped take Quakers to No. 4 spot in nation

DP Cheers:

• To the Undergraduate Assembly, for bringing free newspapers, Ruckus, buses to the airport and other programs to campus, as well as for their support for sustainable practices.
• To the Social Planning and Events Committee, for choosing two bands that appealed widely to student taste and negotiating with the performers to make sure there were more tickets available.
• To the junior and senior classes, for acting responsibly on Hey Day and ensuring the survival of this tradition for future classes.

UA Releases end-of-year report

This summer, the University will begin to make small improvements to the low-rise college houses, the result of a UA proposal. In addition, Student Health Services will likely move to a new location in part because of talks with the UA.

This year, the UA brought improvements to student life in the form of Ruckus, the free music downloading service; free copies of The New York Times, USA Today, The Philadelphia Inquirer and the Philadelphia Daily News; and $3 buses to and from the airport during peak travel times, like school vacations.

"I was happy that we were able to balance focusing on long term major initiatives and delivering short term tangible results," said Wharton senior Brett Thalmann, the outgoing UA chairman.

W. Lax enters final test perfect in Ivies

Having clinched the Ivy title and an automatic bid to the NCAA Tournament last Wednesday against Princeton, the women lacrosse team's 12-4 win over Brown on Sunday may have seemed like icing on the cake.

But the No. 3 Quakers (13-1, 7-0 Ivy) knew they still had a lot to play for.

By defeating the Bears (4-9, 1-4), Penn clinched its first outright Ivy title in program history and took one more step towards homefield advantage throughout the NCAAs.

After failing to capitalize on a number of scoring opportunities in the first half, Penn went into the break with only a 3-0 lead. That they even had a lead at all came thanks to strong play by goalkeeper Sarah Waxman and the Quakers defense.

The DP also got a shoutout in the Penn Parents Magazine:



~Sphinx Newsie

Keep the awards coming...

Click for larger picture:

Sphinx News - April 22, 2007

This week, it was all about winning championship titles, saving Penn traditions and coming together as a community to reflect on the tragedy at Virginia Tech.

After Sphinx witnessed a great victory over Princeton earlier in the week, the Women's Lacrosse team went on to complete a perfect season by beating Brown 12-4 on Saturday.

Sarah Waxman and Emily Szelest split time in goal, with Waxman picking up her 13^th win. Szelest, despite playing only 9:30, was outstanding, making three saves and allowing a goal in that span to preserve the game.

In other sports news, Penn Crew came third on Saturday at the Award Plaque at Lake Carnegie. Way to go Catie!

With the last day of classes came the 76-year tradition known as Hey Day and Sphinges were ready to see how their year-long efforts to change the culture of Hey Day would turn out:

Wharton senior and class president Andrew Kaplan said over 550 seniors have signed a pledge not to throw non-approved items - like eggs, ketchup and mustard - this afternoon at juniors walking down Locust Walk.

This activity, often labeled as hazing, has recently put the 76 year-old tradition in jeopardy.

So, as part of a campuswide effort to make sure Hey Day doesn't go anywhere, student government officials have been working tirelessly to promote a safer Hey Day.

Student leadership has done "a fabulous job collaborating for change," Vice Provost of University Life Valarie Swain-Cade McCoullum said.

And the initial media reports on Hey Day were relatively positive with the Philly Inquirer going with the headline: Penn's Junior Day cleans up - a bit

It wasn't clean. It wasn't dry. And it certainly wasn't ketchup-free, as University of Pennsylvania officials and student government leaders had hoped.

But yesterday's raucous junior class procession through campus, known as "Hey Day," wasn't nearly as gooey as in years past.

Senior class president Andrew Kaplan, who helped devise and push the new rules, said he thought the vast majority had abided by them.

"It was very celebratory as opposed to a hazing atmosphere," he said.

On Thursday evening, Sphinx was out in force at the student-led Candlelight Vigil:

The candelight vigil, organized by 21 student groups, featured remarks by University President Amy Gutmann, Vice Provost of University Life Valarie Swain-Cade McCoullum and associate chaplain Charles Howard.

College senior Raffi Cohn, who was at the vigil, said the event played an important role in the healing process.

"I was amazed at how many students showed up," he said. "Everyone just feels helpless and it's really scary. But by so many people coming together, it kind of lets you know that you're not the only one who's thinking that."

In addition to the honorary Sphinges who spoke, Ezra, Mana and Brett all spoke to the huge crowd that had gathered on College Green. The DP, low-balled the attendance at 200, but anyone who was there knows that the number was closer to 800.

~Sphinx Newsie

2 Sick 2 Be Funny

The human body wasn't made to write witty diatribes about Penn's finest week in and week out. Under such pressure, it cracks and confines even the Sphinx Citer to a miserable, sniffling huddle on the couch. Thus, this week the Citings must speak for themselves -- and what a week (or so) it was!! Before we get going, a big shoutout to Stacie who was cited turning 21 and to Shak who had a birthday several weeks ago but was neglected by yours truly!

First off, most every Sphinge, every pre-frosh previewing Penn and their Moms (literally) were cited at the Darfur rally which was a "real success." It raised an incredible $1,820.50, with special thanks to Ezra. A hilarious, if somewhat surreal sight during the sit-in was the Darfur sitters, the Mask & Wig "protesters," the crazy man preaching against homosexuality in front of Van Pelt, and the frisbee team all trying to get out their message within a few yards of each other. True diversity if there ever was.

Off the Green and into our mailboxes, Andy Kaplan (with the help of Tammy no doubt) announced Senior Week, "to ensure that your final days at Penn are your best days at Penn." No word on just how far Andy will go to make sure each and every one of us truly have our best days, but Penn girls are waiting with baited breath. In other governmental affairs, Brett presided over his final UA meeting, next to Sarah Abroms and Jason Karsh. Numerous Sphinges were in attendance, doing the wave at times. They were cited eating much of the food and taking pictures which no one sent to the Sphinx Citer.

In sports, Sarah Waxman was cited winning the Women's Lacrosse Title in the Ivy League, 14-10 over Princeton. Srikant, Ryan, Mana, Caroline, and Jeff were in attendance. Catie V. was also rumored to be a big winner in rowing. According to Catie, "Penn crew has now separated itself from the bottom of the top to the top of the top." Catey, Jareau, and Mana were in attendance at the race.

Moving on to the obviously drunken elephant in the Quad: Spring Fling. Apparently Jeff did something inappropriate during at the Zetes petting zoo. The sheep are rumored to be sore, and say Jeff is "baaaaad." Catey Mark was cited pulling off an "unbelievable spring fling." There was a "killer turn-out" at the carnival after Jazzy's soiree which included a raging dance party. "Many a sphinge partook in the revelry including the always stylish Mr. Greenwald and the amazingly fun-loving Val Swain-Cade McColloum (also pictured busting a move!)."

Josh Head and Fraga were cited singing a killer duet at their last Mask
and Wig fling concert. Watson pulled off the event "with unparalleled class, singing a solo while working the blacks and whites AND looking delicious." Head and Fraga, in traditional form, got naked at the end of the concert. "Beware their beautiful bods."
Witnesses reported seeing Josh Head's head. Head and Fraga were also cited performing with celebrity host Dan Bakhedal of the Daily Show at SPEC and Mask and Wig's 9th Annual ComFest.

In real accomplishments, Jack Abraham won first place in the Wharton Venture Award Competition! He won $10,000 and will be starting up his tech firm in Philly this summer. He is hiring interns and has employees who are twice his age -- all this further confirmation that Jack is the sh*t and the rest is just flies. Elsewhere, Shak won her CORO fellowship which is a tremendous accomplishment after years of hard work. She was also successful in getting the "United States Cross Cultural Analysis Requirement" admitted into the College Curriculum. Congrats, Shak! See Sphinx News for more on this.

In other society notes, 5 Sphinges were ciited at Oracle initiation: Shirley Liang, Jun Li, Puneet Singh, Samir Sheth and Samir Malik. The 5 Sphinges were found acting like "sock-em-bop-em gophers with the button, acting out animals on the compass, drinking incessant amounts of maple syrup, and tying red and yellow ribbons around trees on Locust Walk Wednesday night." It should be noted that the Sphinges "took the whole event very lightly, as it was a walk in the park compared to the Sphinx Arts & Crafts night."

Finally, Ryan and Catey went out to a BYO dinner with some friends to commemorate the olden days. As usual, they confessed their freshman love to one another and vowed to cuddle again one day. Ryan also completed his proposal for a Glee Club endowment with the University and received approvals from the powers that be. He will be leading the kickoff of a $150,000 capital campaign for the Club, commencing with an Alumni Club gala and concert on Alumni Day. He is quite proud to not yet be a "has-been," contrary to whatever 34th St. has to say about Sphinges.

In this week's doghouse section, Healey was cited attempting to sabotage Sphinx Happy Hour by inviting everyone to his Sitar concert. While Caroline, Jeff, Ryan, Mana, Brett, Ezra, and Jack, hated him for this malfeasance, rumor has that Healey plucks a mean string.

That's all, folks! Cough-sniffle-cough. See Sphinx News for more details on these citings!

-Sphinx Citer

Sphinx News - April 19, 2007

From the front pages of the DP:

Jason Karsh elected UA chairman

After five hours of debate and difficult questions last night, the Undergraduate Assembly elected its executive board for the 2007-2008 school year.

The race was one of the more contested in recent history, with 10 people running for five positions. The high level of competition stands in stark contrast to last year's election, which included only one contested race for all five positions.

And though Karsh managed to beat out College junior Sarah Abroms, Karsh will have big shoes to fill.

The UA passed over 40 proposals during Wharton senior Brett Thalmann's term as chairman and brought the students Ruckus, the free music downloading service, and free copies of The New York Times, The Philadelphia Inquirer, the Philadelphia Daily News and USA Today.

But Karsh has an agenda full of plans for the fall, when he will officially begin his term.

As Thalmann prepares to hand over the reigns to Karsh, he isn't worried about his successors.

"I'm really impressed with the new board," he said. "I hope they can achieve some of their ambitious goals to reach out to students directly."

The United States Cross-Cultural requirement was approved unanimously by SAS faculty

"It was a very long process, but I'm thrilled" with the outcome, said College senior Shakirah Simley, the former chairwoman of the Undergraduate Minorities Council and a member of the task force.

Student Health to relocate, double in size

If the University administration has its way, the Student Health Services offices will be moving to a new home on 3535 Market St.

The UA, too, has been involved in the move and has been discussing the issue with the administration since the fall of 2005.

The undergraduate body's main concerns have been increased privacy, size, the development of a well-lit, comforting environment and a common entrance for all of the offices, UA Chairman and Wharton senior Brett Thalmann said.

"The need is urgent enough that this move and this change is extremely timely and should happen as soon as possible," he said.

In the meantime, the UA will work on improving Student Health hours, creating a possible transit service to the offices and increasing security, among other things, Thalmann added.

W. Lax Wins Ivy League Title!

Playing against its archrival, the women's lacrosse team won at least a share of its first Ivy League Championship since 1982, beating the No. 15 Tigers 14-10 during Senior Night at Franklin Field. The Quakers can win the league outright with a victory over Brown on Saturday.

The win, the first over the Tigers (6-5, 2-2) in 14 years, gave the No. 3 Quakers (12-1, 6-0) their first NCAA tournament bid since 1984. They would hold the tiebreaker over second-place Yale.

~Sphinx Newsie

Sphinx in the News

In addition to being spotted around campus, Sphinges have been really busy doing what they do best: getting things done. Unsurprisingly, Sphinges have been all over the news recently both on and off campus.

Our very own Sarah Waxman has been "solid in goal this season for the Quakers, allowing only 55 goals in ten games and starting every contest." And the DP just named the Women's Lax (that means Lacrosse) team "Overnight celebrities" after 16 years of Dartmouth's dominance over the weekend.

Sphinx was also out in force for a 36-hour sit-in for Darfur this week. According to the DP:

With more than 3.5 million people in the Darfur region of Sudan are completely reliant on international aid for survival, student leaders say they've felt compelled to help out.

"We feel really invested in educating the Penn community about this issue," said College senior Ezra Billinkoff, who was involved in organizing the event, a result of only two weeks worth of planning.

Student groups involved in the effort include Hillel, Sphinx Senior Society, Alliance and Understanding, STAND, Tzedek and the Darfur Action Planning Committee.

The Undergraduate Assembly also made the DP after passing a proposal on improving Penn's Student Health Service and a proposal on climate change that was co-sponsored by Ivy Council.

In other UA news, Brett Thalmann was could be seen posing a question at the last University Council meeting. The meeting featured some administrative updates and a presentation by Kevin Rurak on behalf of the Lambda Alliance regarding the issue of whether Penn's policy on blood donations is discriminatory.

Shawn Safvi had a great column in the DP's joke issue and campus was so relieved to finally hear the truth from the DP leadership:

You accuse us of deliberately targeting you or simply ignoring what you do. I tell you that's not true to your face, but I'm lying. The DP really doesn't care, and the news editors usually delete your e-mails once they realize it's you.

It's not that they don't like you … well, it kind of is, but that's not the point. The DP just doesn't cover boring events, and let's be honest, watching you "appreciate your heritage" doesn't make the cut

Shakirah was also quoted supporting the UMC's recent actions to campus events:

"I think they did a great job," said College senior Shakirah Simley, 2006's UMC chairwoman.

"Their energy is on how they can enact structural change, which I think is more important, useful and constructive. I think this incident is just a platform to talk about what's going on in the greater context," she said.

And in local, national and international news:

"Marshmallow Compromise Saves Penn Ritual"

If you've been living under a rock, the Penn tradition being referenced is Hey Day. Both Puneet Singh and Brett Thalmann were quoted in this AP story:

"I really enjoyed it," said senior Brett Thalmann, who participated in the festivities last year despite having things thrown at him. "I think it's one of Penn's great traditions."

Junior class president Puneet Singh agreed it was "a great resolution."

Thalmann said Hey Day does. It's one of only a handful of times Penn students get together with their entire class, he said.

"It's a really powerful feeling," said Thalmann, a student government leader who worked on the compromise. "The focus on the negative aspects definitely has been more recent and really is a minor part of the day."

The story was picked up by over 43 news outlets including the Washington Post, Philly Inquirer, Houston Chronicle, Chicago Sun-Times, LA Times, Forbes, Guardian Unlimited UK, and the Kalamazoo Gazette.

That's all for now, but I'm sure I'll be back soon to mention even more Sphinges in the news.

~SN

3a.m. Hypothermia was Your Final Task

Veteran Sphinges know that Citings come but once a week (or less). However, it isn't every week that 22 new, wonderful members of a family fall into your lap – so enjoy a special Arts & Crafts edition of Sphinx Citings!

In short, EVERYONE was cited welcoming and herding our candidates through the third round. Though the candidates were horribly insolent and incapable of even the most basic tasks – thus necessitating copious amounts of bad juice – they were somehow able to cover the campus in an impressive display of "Sphinx" chalkings.

(Unfortunately, a trashy neighborhood gang of a name not worth mentioning took it upon themselves to deface many of these Picassos. Sphinges took solace in the words of a familiar chant which very clearly points out that such elements are "losers," clearly the worst possible existence out of "dorks, geeks, and snorks." They also demonstrated an enviable amount of grace and respect, taking care never to write over the chalkings of other groups which may have been around campus that evening.)

It didn't say "Puck."

In the end, 22 of 22 third round candidates were asked to join the society - an impressive achievement considering how all of Ezra's candidates were eliminated in the fall for general ineptness (or so the candidates of Ezra's group were told). A little part of each Sphinge was sad to say goodbye to the old group as they knew it, but a much bigger part was ecstatically excited to see what their amazing new counterparts would do for the group and for the University.

After gathering sleep and recovering from Mad4 Happy Hour on Tuesday, the Sphinges all signed up for at least one shift for Sphinx's Darfur Sit-In from Wednesday to Thursday. They logged in to spreadsheets.google.com with the login "36hours.fordarfur" and used the password "savedarfur" They were excited to attend their shifts, rain or shine, and demonstrate Sphinx's commitment to the school and to greater social causes. They also looked forward to upcoming information about other Sphinx events, including the spring banquet and Healey's meet & greet dinners.

See y'all real soon,
-Sphinx Citer

Congratulations to the following new Sphinges:
Sarah Waxman, Jason Karsh, Rob Medina, Laura Paine, Jon Weiner, Shirley Liang, Alex Hirsch, Gina Owino, Samir Sheth, Jun Li, Nick Watson, Samir Malik, Austin Peña, Sarah Abroms, Jack Abraham, Kevin Rurak, Jazzy Fournier, Max Cancre, Puneet Singh, Shawn Safvi, David Helfeinbein, Stacie Smith

Better Late than Friars

As is true for love and toned abs, sometimes you just have to wait awhile to get what you really want. The spirits of many Sphinges were dampened last week when Sphinx Citings did not come out on Monday. "Where could it be?" they wondered. Candlelight vigils were held and the DP started a ticker of the number of days that Citings had passed its deadline. Hope dwindled, but never fear, for Sphinx Citings is here.

We begin our story far far back to two weekends ago, with pregaming for the Masala show at Mana's where Malaika, Caroline, Brett, Lex, Mana, Brian, Healey, Brandon were spotted. Cynthia "magically appeared at Mana's apartment" to greet the show-goers. Once at the show, Srikant hooked Sphinges up with front-row seating and tee shirts. As he performed, he was spotted wearing his grandfather's horizontal-striped V-neck shirt as he serenaded freshmen Indian girls, "half in English, half in Hindi, and half in Hottiness" Sphinx Chiefs of '03, '05, and '07 are “Masala boys” and were all present. Some of them began a familiar cheer regarding “losers and snorks." One Sphinge of few words commented, "What an experience. thank you so much boys. SO much."

Moving from India, to India Arie, Catey, Mana, Brandon, and Caroline gathered at 3934 Delancey to make signs in support of Lex before Thursday’s drag show. At the show, Lex was spotted doing her best "Kevin-from-the-Backstreet-Boys" impression as she "serenaded freshmen lesbian girls" with her newly straightened hair. Her hair reportedly attempted to fight back, saying that it was born the way it was and there was nothing anyone could do to make it straight. Healey was also seen yelling “Show your ROPE!” Many Sphinges were exuberant; according to Mana "I SLEPT in my QPENN shirt that night. I just couldnt take it off, I dreamt that Lex, aka Nick Carter, sang to me in my arms." Other sources say that Lex's "salty sweat and unimaginably hot dance moves were to SWWOOOOON for." The consensus was that the show was a "SPECTACULAR success."

In the "To the straight Beta kid...(that's the punchline)" department, Healey and Brandon had several good heart-to-heart talks about boy problems. Healey was seen watching Jon Tucker Must Die and Mean Girls in a back-to-back "blow out with his manly fraternity brothers." Oh yeah, and Healey was also called out in QPenn for supposedly being gay, again. The crowds yawned, yearning for a new joke from everyone's favorite hotty from Nebraska.

In the holidays which happened two weeks ago section, Gaby and her younger brother were eating Shabbat Dinner at a friend's house. Tammy and Andy were there, too.

Continuing with the Jewish theme, Josh, among several other Sphinges, was seen “taking advantage” of the open bar at Ezra’s “Betsy Ross’ Bat Mitzvah After Party” at Hillel. Caroline was seen wearing a cow mask.

In the watching paint dry section, Israel and Ewurama were spotted at the front desk of Harnwell.

In tsocial news, two Tuesdays ago at New Deck Happy Hour, Caroline, Head, Jeff, Mana, Brian, Andy, Ryan, Catey & Ezra "CLEARED out the peanuts at New Deck." According to one Sphinge who uses caps lock like Helen Keller uses sign language, "thats how we ROLL." Immediately following the Happy Hour, Brett, Andy, Mana & Catey made a "highly impressive showing of black caps & polos at UA Steering." One tap was reportedly impressed that "there were a lot of black caps in the room tonight."

On to the SPEC BeachFest Catey, where Caroline & Mana ate lots of pbj sandwiches and “widely capitalized on SPEC's ridiculous budget & giving away of amazing free...goods.”

At the Mask & Wig show two Fridays ago, Mana sported the event SOLO to cheer on the "Fragarooster & his Head", and got "PRIME seating right smack in the front row." Josh Head even came & sat behind her in the middle of the show and started massaging her shoulders. She also laughed so hard that she started crying and the elderly man next to her offered her his handkerchief. But, she "saw him blow his nose in it a half hour earlier, so she kindly declined." Fraga was remarked to be "THE hottest woman ever" and Josh looks "WAY too good in a cheerleading outfit." When not wearing a wig, David finished the final draft of his thesis at 7:15AM last Friday morning before he headed to Japan, where he is currently vacationing and wearing Sphinge gear every day, everywhere.

And finally, words of encouragement from Friars head honcho Zach Coopersmith in email correspondence with an unnamed Sphinge: "I like the blog posting on the Sphinx website by the way, you guys are so amazing." Enough said. See you all next week for more citings. Until then, in the words of Mana, "I LOVE YOU ALL!!!! The end. peace."

-SC

p.s. you may wonder why it seems to be the same people in these photos every week. that's because they send them to me, not because they're beautiful - which they are. but you're beautiful, too, so send some hot pics.

Fullight, Fulbright, First Ful I see tonight

Fresh from carefree spring breaks, Sphinx was ready to throw off the sunblock and throw on their thinking caps. Penn and Philadelphia were not willing to let students ease back into the swing of things, however. Tumultous weather changes, another loss in the NCAA tournament, and a general epidemic of Acapulcan crabs, threatened to put a damper on the last few weeks of school. Fortunately, Sphinx members know no obstacles and were spotted doing generally remarkable things. Generally.

First on tap, as further confirmation that the Japanese can make both VCRs and scholars better than us, Mana was cited “WINNING AN F-ING FULBRIGHT SCHOLARSHIP!!!” for study in the land of the rising sun. She is reported to have responded with a measured and low-key expression of approval. Sources also surmise that Mana is “SeRiOUsly so XXCiteddd and THANK you guyssss sooooooo MucH! <3> To learn more about this seriously prestigious award, go here. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fulbright_Program In other Mana-tastic news, the phenom presented at her first sociology conference on Saturday morning, which is "very impressive for an undergrad.”

Following along on the honor train, 14 Sphinx were tapped as finalists for the Senior Honor Awards (out of 30 finalists in total). Friars had a “surprisingly strong showing with 4 candidates.” Better luck next time...

Finally in our achievements section, Lex was cited being "awesome morning, noon and night." Oh, and she was also notified that she'd been chosen inaugural Penn Gay and Lesbian Alumni Award of Merit. To further Lex's embarrassment of riches, she received a job offer in Boston with the Fund for Public Interest research. "It means she can stay in the country!" Somewhere a kangaroo cried.

Moving on to this week's social notes, Andy Kaplan was spotted at MAd4 with his two best friends from Kansas. All three wore matching polo shirts in different colors. While Andy's shirt was not pink, his drink was. In sports, Josh Head was cited leading the Mask and Wing Intramural Basketball Team to the playoffs. The team won their first game 41-11 but fell in the semifinals when the team's lack of rebounding skills could no longer be compensated for through "stunning looks and bootylicious short shorts." Also, Ryan spotted Chris Mizell at the gym -- twice. He was looking studly and ready to kick arse on March 23.

In this week's culinary section, Ryan was cited in Platt Performing Arts House manning an “impromptu brownie station with style.” His grandmother had sent him a usual shipment of brownies and baked goods. Also as usual, Ryan ate only one of them and pawned the rest off on passers-by as part of his “get hot before it gets hot” campaign.

In the arts, Catie V., Brett, Jareau, and Brandon were cited watching Israel, Ewurama and Dominique at the Gospel Choir concert. That wasn’t all that Brett wanted to see this week, however. Sources say he tried to see Healey's naked ass at multiple events throughout the week, and succeeded at Ezra's Shabbat dinner. On an unrelated note, lovers of Maureen Dowd, Paul Krugman and Thomas Friedman rejoiced as Brett and the UA brought the NY Times for free to Penn's campus.

Back to talking about Healey’s ass, Catey Mark was cited kicking it “at a very intense, record-breaking tall game of drunk jenga” at her house on Saturday night. Sources tell us that the St. Patty’s day party at Catey’s place was "off-the-hook" and a "wonderfully awkward gathering of Sphinges." Brett and Catie "dominated the Beirut table," Caroline's boyfriend John "re-emerged" and "randoms" made out on the couches. Lex also had her first hetero kiss in awhile. Despondent lesbians protested nationwide.

As was mentioned earlier, Ezra hosted a Shabbat dinner with "riveting" conversation. Attendees discussed smegma (from Healey’s ass tattoo) and childhood jokes like: “your epidermis is showing!”Gaby, Brett, Ezra, Healey, Mana, Catey, and self-descrbied "pagan" Lex were in attendance.

In the meeting department, Healey, Ryan, and Caroline met to plan the stalking of the several hundreds of seniors who haven't yet donated to the Gift Drive. Luckily, that doesn't apply to anyone in Sphinx. Also, Srikant and Brett could be spotted eating crepes and talking about politics in Houston Hall, where they also strategized about Sphinx’s endowment and how to best approach Alumni Relations. Ezra also led a meeting for the Darfur rally which is starting to take shape..."contact Mana, Healey, Ezra or Catey if you want to get more involved." Finally, Mana, Brett, Lex and Head all sat on the balcony at the "often erratic" Paul Farmer speech.

In our virtual spotting segment, Nina was awesome as she sent out a google spreadsheet to gather our taps.

Everyone else was chilling with Dick Cheney in an undisclosed location.

- SC

EVENTS THIS WEEK :

A) Official: Monday – Group meeting at 10pm. Location TBA.

Tuesday – New Deck Happy Hour at 4:30

B) Unofficial:

Monday: “Close to Home: A Personal Perspective on Darfur” 7:30 in Huntsman 3:40. Jareau and Ewurama.

Wednesday: Betsy Ross's Bat Mitzvah Party at 8 p.m. at Hillel.

This is Ezra’s highest priority event thus far so try to make it.

Also at 8 pm, Caroline and Tri Delta are putting on a lecture by Regan Hoffman, entitled “Honesty & HIV: A Discussion of the Power of Full Disclosure”

Thursday: Mask and Wig show for those who haven't gone yet.

Breaking in Spring

It's not easy being smart, ambitious, and strikingly beautiful all the time. That's why Penn's finest decided to take a week off in early March. What resulted you can see here in the first edition of a literary litany of leadership, lasciviousness and laughter: Sphinx Citings.


We begin our journey in Miami's South Beach where Catey Mark was spotted strutting around with Ryan and an assortment of fellow seniors at all hours of the night. She also may or may not have gotten down at SoBe's hottest new club, "SET." But she probably doesn't remember since she wasn't quite able to stumble away from the porcelain toilet until 3pm the next day. Too bad she wasn't staying in the same room as her parents...oh, wait. Ms. Mark also hosted Ryan, his bf Shane of Friars, and other travel partners for drinks with Catey's parents at their uber-trendy suite at the Sagamore. Catey's dad was "a hoot." Also, Ryan was spotted sporting some tight-ass jeans and looking "pretty damn hott!"(Ryan didn't write this one himself, he promises)

Moving off the mainland to points more southern, our dear president Andy, when not trying to schedule Barney as a commencement speaker, was Spring Breaking in Negril, Jamaica. As Andy so colorfully describes the occasion, "It was a huge, week-long party with amazing weather."

Back in conquistador country, Jareau Wade and Chrissy Choug were the spiciest tamales in Cancun, Mexico! AND they ran into, "or rather cited", Sri one night on the crazy Clubbing strip!!! Srikant was enjoying an all-inclusive with a few buddies from his pledge class and a couple guys from Masala.
A little bird tells us that Israel and Ewurama (with her new hair extensions)were also in Cancun. All 4 Sphinx members have "gotten a little darker, lost a few more brain
cells, and realized that Penn has the earliest spring break of any
university in the country." Fun was had by all.

Gaby was in Playa del Carmen with ten other girls. Yes, she is from Mexico and has some family who lives there, but no, they didn't visit her.

In the singing gender identity disorder department, David Fraga and Josh Head were busy on the Mask and Wig Tour of San Francisco, LA, San Diego, New Jersey, New York City and Rochester. According to David, it was "Really fun, the best yet." Highlights included a hotel on the beach in San Diego for 2.5 nights, getting black-out in New York before a 3AM ride to Rochester (about 30 miles from Ryan's home by the way), and an incident with the group's Ryder truck. No word yet on how many little Fragas were created around the country on this scandalous little tour. Girlfriend and Friar, Katie Liberman would not be happy to know, we're sure. Separately, Fraga was also cited turning in a completed draft of his thesis! Some work remains but the worst is over.

Back in glacier land, Chris Mizell was spotted at the Restaurant school teaching a master class on chicken preparation. Over the break he stayed in Philly training for the NFL combine, which has been moved to March 23. Editor's note: for the deportes deficient, you can learn about just what the heck this "combine" is here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NFL_Combine

After break and back at Penn, Mana was spotted being cute. "All the damn time." Caroline visited Ryan incessantly at the cafe but never purchased anything from him. Srikant and Brett were also each caught in rushed bike-by conversations with Fraga. Israel was preparing for his upcoming performances which everyone can't wait to attend. Although no one seemed to specifically know what Shak was doing, everyone clearly knew she was being socially active somewhere. Tammy furiously studied for some exam during the potluck meeting. Jeff joined a healthy crowd at Sphinx's Tuesday 4:30-6:30 Happy Hour at Mad4.

Oh yeah, and prior to break, Healey, Ezra and Ryan had enjoyed a fine lunch at Houston to discuss Sphinx events; the meal took about two hours, mostly because Healey was full of sh*t. Literally, he was in the bathroom forever.

Everyone else was in a cave for the week (or they didn't email yours truly).

Next edition on Monday. Please have your citings in by Sunday evening. Also, Pod happy Hour is 10-12 Wednesday night (tonight).

Yours,
Sphinx Citer